There are some strange things going on lately. boxercise's chocolate nightmare and missing teeth, the bizarre vandalism in chocobarman's gym...I don't want to alarm anyone, but I have the feeling that these events are related. Maybe it's just because it's been raining all week and I have nothing better to do, but I can't get it out of my head!

Hmm...lil_mac_attack, have you noticed anything strange lately, regarding your mentor? I mean, stranger than usual?

It hasn't stopped raining! I thought it would yesterday morning, and I was all set to go out for a jog or somesuch, because I haven't kept up on my training as it is. But no, it started right back up, and I got caught in the rain, and had to hold my hands over my head and run all the way back to my gym! Thankfully, it gave me the opportunity to clean up before opening hours.

So I started the last summer class I'm teaching! It's going very well so far, all ages, all levels of experience. I'm starting to think that I'm a better boxing teacher than I am an actual boxer, considering that my students have no problem beating me in order to graduate. For most of them, though, it isn't a career thing...I think most of them take it as a hobby. Or for self-defense. It helps that this is the only boxing academy in the city, hah!

Ah, sorry for the long silence, mes amis. The minute I came back to France, I fell over and got sick with a very nasty cold, if you can believe it...I haven't been able to do anything about anything! I don't mind going into the hospital with broken bones, but if I get a virus, I am simply unbearable.

Thankfully, I got a lovely package on my front step this morning! A great big case of medicine! It looks like releasethebogus sent it to me, which initially made me very concerned, but you know, it's just the sort of thing to clear me up. I feel perfectly fine now! I'll keep a couple bottles for myself (I wish I knew the brand of it...the wrapper is written all in Cyrillic) and maybe send the rest off, spread the love, that sort of thing. Hopefully none of the bottles will crack on the way.

(regalpotamus, you keep an eye on the mail! It's the least I can do to repay you!)

La belle France! Ohh, to be back on French soil, with the support of my countrymen! How wonderful! And I can keep that shiv I made as a souvenir! I'm sure one day it may be worth something, even if I didn't have to use it.

Whew...well, I've finished unpacking and eaten some lunch. After a week of getting arrested and spending time in prison and being bailed out by King Hippo, I have something very important I need to do. Namely, I need to take a nap. Goodnight.

I would have updated sooner, but it's quite difficult to get access to computers in jail, you know. There is usually such a long line, and it's very awkward to stand in when the man behind me keeps snickering about something and kind of...plucking at my shirt. And I think I know better than to pick too many fights in here. The swelling in my jaw hasn't gone down quite yet.

I do have some things on my mind, though...I'm looking forward to cooking with rojorosa on Saturday, but do people seriously think I have the money to pay for the cookout?! I was just finished counting my blessings about regalpotamus bailing me out. I can't ask him for money so soon! Maybe someone else can lend me some...

Oh, and one of the other inmates found this. Sadly, it's not the whole article, but it's something!

French boxer arrested in Brooklyn brawl
Crowds were shocked to see French boxer "Glass" Joe de Verre involved in an alteraction with an unknown assailant on Friday night outside Brooklyn's Club Element. The fight was apparently sparked by the assailant's attempt to take de Verre's wallet. According to witnesses, there was a struggle in which the mugger drew a knife, but was quickly disarmed and knocked out by France's Glass Jaw in what was described as a miracle. "It was crazy," a witness stated. "I made like two hundred bucks 'cause I was the only person who didn't bet on Glass Joe losing."

Ha ha! It turns out that the majority of these thugs in prison are just amateur pugilists, so I am actually at an advantage! Even if many of them are, euh, larger and more terrifying than I am, they don't have the footwork or the discipline that a trained boxer does. Even if that boxer is me.

...all right, so I have another black eye, and fakeouts don't work quite as well when your opponent isn't actually another boxer...but still, it's certainly something! Haha, I haven't even been shanked yet! Take that, aran_ryan!

Thankfully, it looks as if I will be out and back home by Friday or so. Merci millefois to King Hippo, and to you too, Soda! Hopefully I won't need to take you up on that offer...

So...y-yes, I am in jail. I am in real American jail and I am terrified. The charges include--un moment, I'm looking at them right now--purchasing alcohol for minors, that makes sense...property damage?! I didn't...that was King Hippo! He was the one who destroyed half of the club! And--assault?! I don't even remember--when did I get into a fight?!

Oh god. Oh mon dieu, I am in REAL AMERICAN JAIL. In New York City. Am...am I going to die?! Ohhh this is going to be all over the newspapers in France..."disgraced boxer seen partying with minors, apparently destroys dance floor despite only weighing fifty kilograms..."

Oh thank goodness, they just got back to me with the bail amount. It's...mon dieu, it's five thousand dollars. That's over 3500 Euro! I-I can't be stuck in New York City, I have to be back in Europe within the week! C-can anyone help me? Please! N-Narcis? Macho Man? ...King Hippo?!

Just arrived in la belle ville about an hour ago! Ahh, I'm looking forward to tonight! I think I will walk around, reacquaint myself with les boutiques, and maybe find some pizza, j'ai faim. boxercise, it's going to be us, Little Mac, Hippo, and Heike, yes? Where should we meet at 10?

also I'm not so sure this is really a 'date...'

Bonjour, mes amis. Avez-vous des rêves bons?

[edit: Ah, I won't be able to make it to the Hugger/Hippo match tonight, quel dommage! Well, perhaps I can catch it on the reruns...nobody spoil it for me!]

Let's see...

This Friday, 10pm: Clubbing in New York with boxercise and the rest of the Minor Circuit. Maybe buy a new shirt for the occasion...
Saturday afternoon, July 11th: Train trip to Spain to visit rojorosa to prepare for the cookout!
Sunday afternoon, July 12th: The cookout! Note to self: do not forget the bread. I know that baguettes tend to pop out of my hair, but can this be the one day of the year that I don't have my jaw broken, s'il vous plait?

My lord, it's going to be a busy couple of weeks. All this back-and-forthing across Europe and the States! I hope I don't get jet lag too badly.

Apparently everyone is under the assumption that I'm paying for their food for the picnic! I-I don't even make enough to pay for HALF of King Hippo's catering, let alone all of it and everyone else's! Wh-why not ask handsomevictory to do it?

Hmph...well, at least I'm planning on cooking all of mine myself. Let's see, a mushroom salad...I'll cook up some crepes, and maybe some onion soup...

Well, that was exciting! So that nasty cheater got what was coming to him after all! Er, I mean aran_ryan, of course...I certainly know I am going to have fun making him be nice and polite for once in his life. Why, maybe I can even have some coffee with him and see how well he holds up in a civil conversation! (And then watch him squirm...)

I wonder what kampfmaschine's "photographs" are all about, though. From the way he said it, he made it sound a bit, euh, shady...but maybe that is just him being Von Kaiser. I always did wonder about that nervous tic of his.

Hmm, so another exhibition match is coming up...perhaps I should look into getting some tickets for it, if anyone knows when the match is scheduled for. I won't miss an opportunity to see that cheat get what is coming to him!

Besides, it'll be interesting to see handsomevictory in action...I don't know very much about anyone in the Special Circuit. Apparently it's even more elite than the World Circuit, if such a thing is possible.

Ha ha! It feels so good to be out of the hospital and back in the gym. My new equipment is amazing! I must have hit myself in the head fifty times testing this headgear, and it didn't hurt one bit! Well, er, not exactly...once I got up to around thirty or forty I began to get a bit of a headache, but on the other hand I didn't have my boxing gloves on, so...

I, euh, I apologize for the odd post last night, though. I suppose I was a bit, um, overexcited about all of this. I cannot help it, though! With this on I feel almost invincible! And I am planning on challenging regalpotamus to a rematch after a good, long training regimen. A long...long training regimen.

IT WAS SO SIMPLE. ALL ALONG.

HA HA HA HA HA.

regalpotamus, thank you for the lovely message. It, um, was quite a surprise. I'm not sure that the orderlies enjoyed having to clean the gazelle up and haul it out of the room, but I do appreciate the sentiment...perhaps I can make some sandwiches out of it.

Eugh, my...my head still hurts a bit, and I can only move my jaw about an inch or two, but I should be out sooner rather than later. That was a nasty fight, but I have had worse, anyway. My doctor talked to me about it this morning, and was actually rather understanding about this whole "accidentally offending a tribal chief's hippopotamus honor" situation. He says that he's through convincing me to stop boxing (finally!), only he will hopefully keep me from taking up another bed in the hospital all the time.

He says he's "looking into something" for me...I wonder what it is?

[edit: I just realized that I now have one hundred losses. Oddly enough I feel rather proud of it. Too bad I'm too sore to throw a party.]

back at the hospital

doctor is not happy

gghh cant move my jaww. jai sommeil uhg ..

bonne nuit

I know the last thing I should be doing is sitting in front of the computer, but I have been spending every moment since my discharge training. My arms are so tired, so I'm just taking a bit of a lunch break, that's all!

Luckily, everything seems to be in working order: my legs, my arms, my fists, my...er, my jaw, too. Well, we'll see how long that is going to last. Oh, well...maybe I'll just stay down when I'm hit. The last thing I need is to go into the hospital again.

Oh zut, oh zut! King Hippo has challenged me to a match and I am not even out of the hospital yet! I won't be out until tomorrow...and I will have to start training right away, against my doctor's orders! Um, I know it may be a bit much to ask, but does anyone have any, euh, a-advice?

((OOC: Once we hammer out when the match is going to take place, I'll make an Exhibition Match Announcement post in the main comm!))